Email 1/31/10

Hello!

Thankfully week 1 of chemo is done!! Unfortunately it was far, far, more miserable than I had anticipated it would be. Everyone responds differently and I definitely got a more painful card than I'd thought or hoped. The only good news is that I was able to drink enough that I never became dehydrated and needed IV fluids. I haven't left the house since Monday when I went to chemo. Lights, sounds, tastes, and smells are hyper-sensitive to me. My most frequent position is on my back in the dark as lights from the TV and computer screen are usually too much stimulus for me. Until Friday I did not sit up for 60 consecutive minutes (due to nausea). I eat a little and only bland food. My tastes have changed a little; water no longer tastes like water to me which is super weird. Any slight smell is super-potent to me so we have removed all smelly things from the home. Funny story...when my parents were putting all the flowers outside (because they smell) my dad even put some artificial flowers outside too; my mom assured him they were ok.

Much to my dismay, I head back tomorrow (Monday) for more chemo. Just a reminder on what the 4 21-day cycles of chemo look like.
Day 1: chemo with two drugs: Carboplatin and Gemcitabine. Carboplatin is the one know for being really hard on you.
Day 8: chemo with one drug: Gemcitabine. I'm praying this one alone will not be so wretched!!
Day 22: the cycle starts again assuming my blood counts are up (which they will check each time)

A few things to prayer for:
Much less side effects from just the Gemcitabine.
Ability to manage some of the side effects better (maybe with some additional meds) and to be able to get out at least once/day (for help preventing muscle atrophy and keeping some emotional sanity)
I see the genetic oncologist tomorrow morning. I'm mainly seeing the doctor so my family can know their risks so pray for wisdom for the doc and wisdom for my female family members as they make decisions.
That Jesus will come back before Day 22 when I have to have Carboplatin again! It doesn't hurt to ask. :)
Grace, faith, and strength to persevere.

I would love to share with you some super-encouraging spiritual message but I don't have one today. The main verse I have thought about this week is Matthew 6:34. I sometimes found myself wondering "how in the world am I going to endure this chemo multiple times." That's when Matthews 6:34 came to mind..."Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." It helped me not think ahead quick as much and just focus on the day at hand.

Thanks for praying!

Love,
Kathy

PS Since my report this week is so discouraging here were the bright points of the week.
My nephew Owen's (who is almost 3) preschool class in South Carolina all put their handprints on a bag and sent it to me. They all each drew me a picture and had their teacher record their answers to the question "What makes me feel good when I am sick?"
When skyping with my nephew Austin (who is 3) and niece Beth (who is 17 months) on Friday afternoon, Austin (unprompted by parents) said "I love you Aunt Kathy" and Beth called me by name for the first time ("Kak Kak").