Update 7.10

Hi!

How I wish you all could have been here with me a few moments ago. I sat on my bed and shredded my two chemo shirts!! With a little help from some scissors I used my hands to rip them apart and made sure no one could ever wear those shirts again. This long-awaited event (I have been getting nauseous for months just looking at those shirts in my closet) occurred because I got my port out yesterday. The scans and bloodwork have been good so far so my doctor said he could take it out. I am sore today and will be for a while but I'm thrilled!! Kent's (my doctor) scans have been good so far too. I also got permission to dye my hair all one color again, which I did on Tuesday, and it hasn't fallen out! I still see gradual improvement in how I feel which is always nice to be able to do a little something this month that I couldn't do last month.

While my heart is mainly rejoicing today I must admit it's been a bittersweet week for me. Every time I get bloodwork or a scan done, I'm reminded that the news might not be good, and I dread walking in the doctor's office door every 3 months for a check-up. The side effects from the chemo are ever present and probably will be for 9 more months. My right hand has been tingling and numb with not even a second's break since early May. My left hand and feet are tingling a good bit as well which makes exercise hard. I wake up almost every morning with both hands hurting and it's difficult to walk right when I wake up. My abdomen is still sore when I touch it as is my right thigh and the fatigue is still a constant reminder I cannot do nearly all the things I'd like. Plus this week I went to a funeral for a woman I met in chemo. She left four children under 20, and I know her sister. In remembering her, one of the family members said, "I hope it's ok to say this in a church but I hate cancer." I almost stood up and said Amen. As I went to get bloodwork this week, I sat there so sad looking at the folks around me because I know how bad they feel.

Therefore as I write and throw away my chemo shirts, it is with a torn heart. Praising God for my good news and hurting with those who are hurting. Looking forward to the day that Jesus comes back and all His children throw away their chemo shirts for good. So long purple and black chemo shirts; I pray I never need anything like you ever again!!

Love,
Kathy